Stop Explaining Your Worth

Several small doors.

Things are seeming bleak lately in the scheme politically with our government . I’m at the point where my Mom is sending me 40 videos a day and I’m trying to keep up. Previously, a non news person, because yes, I’m one of those people. Unless we enter a fascist state, I try to keep my brain clear and open for imagining things, creative thought, positivity . But it’s time to wake the fuck up to what is going on around us. At this point, silence feels like complicity. My private and personal way of voicing resistance has been resharing Instagram reels and getting away with it . All I have to say is that I beg you to start paying attention.

Otherwise, the moments of positivity come in small forms, I teared up at a horse on the Good News Girl account on Instagram being pulled by a raft when he was lost from his family in snow. There are little shreds of life and hope everywhere.

Wake ups come in many forms. Recently, I had an interaction with a potential client. I posted it on Instagram. Not because it was the first interaction of its kind. I am extremely used to rude potential asks and I never even blink an eye toward it. But this one. This one struck a chord. And at 17.7 k views, I think it struck a chord with a lot of other creatives. Creatives who are scared to speak out. I’m not scared to speak out anymore, because I want to be honest and share the truth .

No matter how much you work on excellence, re the cakes. Or building their worth. To which they are worth every penny. (18 hours or more work a day on behalf of two people with the occasional 8 hour pulls from a third person, my mom and dad, for a month to three months), you reach a point where you have to stop explaining your worth. You realize that excellence and achieving it is not the issue, alignment is.

There was a point when I realized I could make a 10,000 dollar object and still not be able to find the people willing to value it . I even had a feature on Garden & Gun, and still I wonder where my people are ?

So, I diversified myself without betraying myself. So, that I may live a life without permission. And truthfully, I don’t want 10 cakes a year. I want 1-2 and the rest of the time I want to be home. Living a balanced life in my home and garden. The rest, gallery work. Ceramic experiments. I was told recently at a talk, maybe that’s why you got divorced ! You’re gone all the time. That would take a very special person to handle that. Which was wild to me, and that is difficult but not the issue in my case. You can work with any situation with good communication and vigor. But that being said, I do want a balanced life even single. I can’t mentally and physically take the months long toll on my mind and body. And I don’t want to.

I realized that instead of waiting to be chosen by one system I would build several small doors into my world and let people enter where that felt right to them .

So, I started writing essays on my Substack account. Thank you to all of you for being here. As you know, these can be anything from gardening topics to recipes every week and just generally articles and thoughts about how to live life well.

And I realized that in this world building that what I need is foundational money. Foundational money to fund all of the creative and fantastic things I want to do. It builds scale. I can’t make 10 YouTube videos a week right now, but with the money from my Bed and Breakfast, I will be able to. I would be able to pay the thousand dollar a day equipment rental to Katherine and Tim, who started a pilot with me for a tv show over a year ago. The person who owned the equipment we were borrowing sold it .

I am in many ways creating the chaotic life of my dreams . What surprised me most was how quickly momentum builds when you make a few decisive adjustments. Visibility. Playing with the calendar. Within weeks, bookings increased in a way that made me realize this wasn’t just a side idea it was a real, growing arm of the business.

My goal for the snow storm was to lock myself in, much like I do in Jenkins and come up with some sort of clarity. By the end of the storm, I had it. I view winter as the time to hibernate, make changes, and plant seeds that will bloom by Spring.

My other vision for the future is to furnish the attic. It’s close. I think 3 days of hard work would knock it out. I’d like for the inhabitant to be someone fabulous. Maybe someone that reads. Someone that is fun, but kind of quiet. Who will join in on the occasional antics, but not be put off.

In my furnished finder listing, I wrote specifically that this was not “a quiet nice place to live.” I’m not loud, (despite my witch friend Katelynn assuring me that no ghosts are here, because my personality would “push them out.” 🤣)

This is a place where there is laughter. There is happiness and you might walk down into the kitchen with music playing. And I’d probably share a glass of my wine with you at the end of your hard day 😂. So, a fun, but balanced traveling nurse would fit my bill.

In my vision, there is someone in the Bed and Breakfast. From booking.com or Airbnb and they’re going to Keeneland or a UK game. The house is full of people. And maybe a workshop is underway too.

Just last week, I got an experience approved on Viator and TripAdvisor. Finally, completing my lifelong dream of workshops. A list of topics, I made and finalized years ago. They’ve hung on the back of my bedroom door on a hand written sheet ever since. It was hard to choose one topic right out of the gate. But I chose Seasonal Cooking and Entertaining with The Mischief Maker. Guests can do an optional brunch or dinner with anywhere from two-six people. This was my original vision 8 years ago. And one hurdle after another has stopped me. Until now.

My neighbor suggested I try TripAdvisor . Experience attempt after experience attempt failed on AirBnb. They thought the images from Garden & Gun were fake. All my photos even my iPhone photos. I was at a loss of what to do ? My neighbor owns several AirBnb properties and said if you do this, my wife and I are happy to promote it to all of our guests for free.

Another idea swirling around in past years from friends was, “Why don’t you come to varying houses and do a dinner at their house?” I said more than happy to always. But no one ever seemed to follow through. But now that idea has a home too. Incorporated into the original workshop idea. Guests who book the experience can make a choice. My house. Their AirBnb, or their private home.

My friend Stefan had a private chef come during Covid for him and his now ex girlfriend. 😅. And the ability to be at your own home, drink what you want, and not have to drive is also pretty appealing. I get it !

It would be crazy. To have so many swirling components. But I can do two years or so of crazy. And re-evaluate as I go. I would choose crazy any day over boring. I’m excited for the onslaught of travelers. New people. New ideas.

It’s a bit scary, of course, to have new guests. I never know how it’s really going until breakfast the next day. Then something shifts in an instant and I think, “Well, this went absolutely perfect.”

Last weekend, I made a Syrian frittata with mint at pure random, because the wife who was staying mentioned quiche. Loves eggs, I thought. I won’t commit to always doing elaborate breakfasts, but I’ll always grab something fun. So, you might stay one day and get something even more special. That keeps it fun and creative for me. Having options keeps me from being weighed down. And when I’m having fun, we all have fun.

I would love to be kind of be an ambassador of sorts to Kentucky and to show how wonderful Kentucky and Lexington are as a whole.

Chocolate Shortbread Cookies with Kerry Gold Salted Butter and Dark Lindt Chocolate bars for guests.

I am not interested in living a bleak life, a life that plays it safe, or one that’s blind to changes that need making. Focusing on beauty, imagination, creation, and being positive is still my life’s goal. But one must adapt to beauty and life, with new structure. With shifts. Politically. In business. In life, constantly. I’m awake and moving forward. Being true to oneself is the only constant.

The rest of what I’m building, I’ll be sharing privately here, moving forward ! I hope you’ll join me too.

Alex